Please don’t bash me but offer me advice to move forward and do the correct thing.
I had a marriage for over a year and got divorced. My ex wife and I continued to have an off and on relationship. This had been going on for over 10 years when she had our son. She stopped dealing with me when we had our son because I did something wrong. I took a loaded gun to her and hit her with the gun and so she filed a restraining order and had medical records and the order was for one year. She never went for child support or custody and she was never on any welfare or assistance. She worked and provided for our son on her own. I demanded a paternity test when our child was about age 2 and she allowed me to have it done without any problems saying she had nothing to hide and that he is mine. Yes, he was mine. I was the one cheating on her and when she caught me is when I took the gun at her etc. this was many years ago as our son is now 10. I never seen my son again after the paternity test. Until now. I showed up at her house and spent some time with the two of them. I never saw her all these years and never sent any gifts or support. My family had nothing to do with my son either. I just recently started buying gifts and have our son a phone to have easy contact. I asked her if she wanted to make things work out and she does not with me. I really don’t want her but figured it was a way to make this easier. So, I want to start seeing my son regularly and have him visit me and my family now.
How do I go about this and what are my rights? She has never been to court for nothing and neither have I. She doesn’t want to be around me and said having me show up was very stressful to her and for future visits that she doesn’t want to me around me and said she can arrange a family member of hers to make arrangements and have our son meet up with me and them until court orders or mediation is filed or paperwork etc.
What am I to do? I want to see my son even though he is now 10 and I haven’t been in his life.
As for money. She makes decent money and is a good mother. As for me, I make a lot more money. I know I messed up but I would like to be in my sons life now.
I also had a daughter prior and I was court ordered child support due to the baby mother being on welfare etc and I paid child support for 18 years etc. the mother took me too court with welfare etc ...as for my sons mother she never took me to court and I never went to file for my rights and I never went and put myself on child support.
Without bashing me how bad is this going to look on me to now want to go establish my rights? I was living my life and now realize I was not responsible. I want to do what is right now.